It's easy to get so caught up in being busy that you forget what actually brings you joy. This isn't a checklist to get through. Pick one, try it, and notice how it feels.
— Jonathan Worrall
The list
Coffee in the morning without feeling rushed.
Listening to any music you love, and allowing yourself to dance along. It's Motown or 90s hip hop for me.
Looking into the eyes of someone you love, telling them what they mean to you, and then seeing them smile.
Paying for the coffee of the person behind you in line.
Walking in nature and just appreciating the beauty of it all.
Exercising, and showing yourself love by taking care of your body.
Cleaning out your closet and giving old clothes to someone in need.
Watching the sunrise or sunset, and appreciating how far you've come.
Taking a nap without feeling guilty about not accomplishing a to-do list.
Reading a few pages of a fiction book before bed.
Cooking your favorite meal from scratch.
Surprising your kids with something that shows you listen to what matters to them.
Playing a board game or cards with your family.
Driving with the windows down and music up.
Reaching out to five people who've impacted your life and telling them you appreciate them.
Writing a letter by hand, expressing gratitude, and mailing it.
Laughing with friends.
Going fishing.
Walking your dog.
Watching your kids play, without jumping in or fixing anything.
Catching up with an old friend.
Go outside at night and look for stars and constellations, and stand in awe of something bigger than you.
Watch a movie that made you laugh as a kid.
Sitting by a fire and just being present.
Go for a drive on the outskirts of town with no destination in mind, just enjoying the drive.
Skipping rocks across water.
Take yourself out to breakfast alone, no phone, no rush.
Learn or relearn something you were curious about as a kid.
Lie in the grass and watch the clouds for a few minutes.
Write down three things you're grateful for today.
One thing to practice
Pick just one
You don't need to do all 30. Pick one that feels doable today, and do it. Notice how it feels. Then pick another one tomorrow. Small and consistent beats big and occasional.
Common questions
How do I find joy in everyday life?
Start small. Joy usually shows up in ordinary moments, not big ones, a walk, a song, a conversation, if you're paying enough attention to notice it. The goal isn't a bigger life. It's a more present one.
What's the difference between self-care and being selfish?
Self-care is meeting your own needs so you have something real left to give other people. Selfishness takes from others. Self-care usually ends up giving you more to offer them, not less.
How do I reconnect with what used to make me happy as a kid?
Think back to what you loved doing before responsibility took over, riding a bike, playing outside, drawing, building something. Pick one and try it again, exactly as it is, with no goal attached.
If you know a man who might benefit from reading this today, would you consider sharing it with him? Sometimes the right message arrives at exactly the right time.