Growing Forward · Letter No. 8 · October 2026← All letters

Who Knows You Best?

In 2020, I walked out of a meeting in my office feeling furious. It had not gone the way I wanted. I felt angry, disrespected, and misunderstood, and I had no idea what to do with any of it.

Then a different question hit me. Should I really be this upset over a meeting? And if I let other people affect me this deeply, how would I ever have peace and happiness?

That question is what got me to therapy.

For a long time, my emotions were in charge. Anger, sadness, frustration. Something would happen, and I would react before I even knew what I was feeling. I wanted to be as healthy emotionally and mentally as I was physically.

It was not easy. It took a long time, and I went through several therapists before I found the right one. But once I did, something shifted. I could talk openly about what I was feeling, about things from my past, and about the stories I had been telling myself for years. Someone listened with kindness and zero judgment. It felt like a weight came off my shoulders. Where I was stuck, my therapist helped me look at things differently so I could move forward.

Therapy is not right for everyone. But it was a big part of my journey, along with changing my behavior, a lot of reflection, and a lot of reading. I keep the books that helped me on one page, if you want to see them: the books that helped me.

It is so easy to get lost as a man. We think money is the answer. We think the fastest way to get money is to work. Then we get lost in the work, and somewhere along the way we lose touch with ourselves. The more I reconnected with myself, the more I saw that work is only one part of my life. That gave me better perspective at work, and it helped me enjoy the small moments again.

I do not have this figured out. I work on it every day. Sometimes I get stuck in the future, thinking about my next steps and retirement. Then I step back and ask, what if my purpose is to make the biggest impact today with the people around me? Just asking that keeps me grounded.

Here are a few things that helped me get to know myself better. You do not need to do them all.

• Know your values. Write down the 3 to 5 things that matter most to you. Not what you think they should be. What they actually are.
• Take stock of your life. With a pen and paper, write about how you feel about your life right now. What is working, what is not, and what you want to change over the next 12 months.
• Reach out to the people who shaped you. Think about who has impacted your life most over the last 10 to 15 years. Send each one a message so they know.
• Talk 50% less for a week. Listen to what you hear without rushing to respond. Notice what you feel the urge to say.
• Go somewhere new. As kids, we explore constantly. As adults, everything starts to feel repetitive. Try a coffee shop you have never been to and order something you have never ordered. It reconnects you to what "new" feels like.
• Read fiction again. When was the last time you got truly lost in a story, like you did as a kid?
• Listen to music you normally skip. Try classical, or anything outside your usual.
• Take a walk in nature. Pay attention to the leaves changing color.

I am 45 now, and I feel better than I have at any point in my life. I love who I am, and not in a conceited way. I know my self-worth. I know my values, and I work every day to live by them. That brings me peace and joy. What happens around me matters a lot less than how I respond to it.

If you are clear on what matters to you, and you are living by it, you are living your best life. At least, that is what I believe.

I'd love to hear from you. Hit reply and tell me which one you picked for November.

Jonathan Worrall